After a series of occurrences this last school year, my nine year old darling daughter told me her teacher was lying to her. She was constantly hearing how she was the best in spelling, then hearing the same teacher tell the same thing to one of the least talented spellers in the class. Then, she missed school on her field day. When she returned to school, she received a first place ribbon and award. She was angry, she didn’t get first, she wasn’t even there. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say.
So is it wrong to be a little more realistic? I tell my DD she is beautiful and smart often. Its the truth! I never have lied to her about her abilities though. Example: she is not very good at math (just like mom), I tell her I know math is hard for her but she is smart and with a little work she’ll figure it out. My question is why lie? Kids are smart they know you are not being truthful with them. In my opinion it makes them resistant to honest praise. It trains them to be suspicious and they lose respect for those that lie to them.
Is this no one loses, no one has problems, teaching style really appropriate? Should we teach self esteem at the cost of integrity and trust? Why do we do this to our children knowing the adult world is not this way? I feel reality based teaching is where we need to be heading. I want my kids to hear the truth no matter where they are. Truth will always win.